The plain, simple fact is: People don’t change.
People don’t change, especially when they don’t want to.
For example, I will always be someone who speaks their mind. That is no more likely to change than my height or sex. I may grow old, I may acquire new knowledge and wisdom over time, but I will never have a fake personality.
In my previous post, called I Stepped Up, I only briefly mentioned how I knew what my ex-wife’s intentions are and that they haven’t changed. This is the subject matter I will tackle in this post. Her tactics have changed, though have remained the same in essence, but we all know she’s the same exact person she was when she split up our family for immature, self-absorbed reasons.
How have her tactics changed? Lately, she’s been saying (over and over and over) how I don’t talk to her with respect. Yes, guilty. But that’s not intentional, nor is it something I’m ashamed of. Whether it is to her, or someone else I hate, or someone I love, I am not fake, and I act and speak how my heart truly feels about them. People can categorize how I interact with them however they wish to, but regardless how someone categorizes it, I will always be real.
It’s a manipulation tactic. Not to me, but to the rest of the world. It’s part of her usual (emphasis on the word “usual”) game of playing victim so that she can get something she wants. She knows I can’t be fake, and she knows I despise her, so it’s perfect for her game.
Back before we went to divorce court, when I was still living in my temporary apartment, we agreed to meet halfway between where we both lived. Once I moved, I wanted the same terms – a location halfway between where we both lived – but my ex-wife didn’t want that because it wasn’t convenient for her. A few months after meeting at the same place we always had, I started dropping off our daughter at a new location – one that was halfway between where we both lived with my new address. My ex-wife kept trying to counter by saying, “This is not what we agreed to, this is not what we agreed to, this is not what we agreed to.” And that was her manipulation tactic, to use in court, for our future court date.
One day, at random, I told my ex-wife I’d go to her hometown, which is where she lived, to drop off our daughter. What was her response? Did she say, “No, that’s not what we agreed to”? Of course not. Her response was, “What store?” and then we met there just fine. She was perfectly okay with it, since it was convenient for her, despite the fact it actually went against our agreement.
Rules, and fairness, only matter to her when she needs them to get what she wants. It was true then, it’s true now, and it will be true for all time.
When we finally got to court to get divorced, our judge explained that I didn’t, in fact, agree to have a static drop-off location. What I had agreed to all those months previous was “a halfway point.” So, I violated nothing, except when I offered to meet close to where she lived to drop our daughter off.
The point of the last 4 paragraphs is simply this: She used the manipulation tactic of repeating, over and over and over, the words “This isn’t what we agreed to.” And her tactic didn’t work, but that doesn’t change the fact she tried to use it.
These days, as of the past few weeks (and ONLY the past few weeks), she has tried something similar: Repeating herself in the hopes of bending certain authority figures to her will. Like a child, she repeats the word “respect” over and over and over, as if believing saying the word somehow proves something.
She cares nothing about having respect from me. How do I know this? Because at 3 different times, that’s what she got in abundance, and her behavior worsened. Yes, it worsened. The 3 different time periods (each lasting several weeks) that I was nothing but respectful to her, she turned up her hostility and antagonization.
The first time was immediately after she left me, up through maybe late December 2018 or early January 2019. I checked up on her, I continued saying I loved her, and I tried to talk our problems out. In return, she was demanding, impatient, uncompromising, and only continued forward with her plans to divorce me and take my baby from me. Being kind and respectful toward her helped nothing.
The second time was from July through August 2020. I was patient, I was kind, I checked up on her, I said goodnight, and I tried talking things out. In return, she was impatient and uncompromising as always. She kept pushing me, and I lost patience with her.
The third time was from October through December 2020. Same thing as the other two times, only this time she gave me a particular gem: One night, I called her to talk about how we should try being friends, and instead of conversing, she spent the entire two-hour call telling me I’m worthless in her eyes. I still can’t wait to be able to show that to people, especially in a courtroom, right after she goes off talking about her victimhood.
The point I explained in the previous four paragraphs is something my ex-wife’s family intentionally – very intentionally – chooses not to understand. I’ve tried telling a couple of them this before, and like children themselves (where do you think she gets it?), they pretend they can’t hear me. The fact remains, and will remain until the end of time, that I absolutely HAVE been nothing but respectful, and kind, and patient with her, at 3 different times since we separated, and all 3 of those times, she chose to be an even bigger cunt than she was before. That’s why in December 2020, I finally said I’m done giving her the benefit of the doubt, and I’m done trying to see her as anything other than what she truly is.
By the way, look back at this very blog, at most of the posts from the second half of 2020, and see for yourself how hard I was trying to see her in a better light. I tried. I really fucking tried.
She lies, she manipulates, she plays games, and she’s disingenuous.
Her heart is not in the right place and never was. Do I need to showcase a certain audio compilation again? Well, I will, because this never gets old…
The funny thing is: I don’t even need all these proofs that her heart has never been in the right place and that she will never change. I didn’t need to offer to meet in her hometown just to test how she’d respond. I didn’t need to give her 3 different chances to be a decent person. The only thing I needed to do was look at the whole situation itself.
A mother who cares will do everything she can to make it work. A mother who cares will do the best she can WITHOUT needing to be prompted to do so. A mother who cares would have considered marriage counseling all on her own, WITHOUT her family telling her to do it. A mother who cares would set the best example for her child, instead of wearing slutty and/or degenerate clothing (up to this very day). A mother who cares will do countless things that my ex-wife has not done and never will do.
Need I remind everyone that she wasn’t interested in being a mother in the first place? I’m now convinced that that lack of interest never goes away. Someone is either built to be a mother or they’re not. My ex-wife grew up taking care of kids, but her heart was never in it; not even for her own child. She’s still not interested in being a mother. She cares deeply about what the people in her family think of her, so of course she’ll put on a show for them, hoping none of them examine anything deeper than surface-level. It’s all a show to her family members, and a game to everyone else. At the center of all this is our precious baby girl, whom she values only like a possession, instead of valuing as a person of her own. Because if she truly cared about her daughter, she’d be horrified of the idea of her child growing up in a broken family. She’d want to set the best example.