I Stepped Up

Recently, I made the mother of all my posts about women, so I figure, “Why not make the mother of all my posts about … my daughter’s mother?”

I’ve been blog-absent for a bit, and for that I apologize. I’ve been … distracted … for the past week or two. This is probably the longest I’ve gone since starting this blog 5 years ago, where I’ve been sidetracked from addressing what’s wrong with the world. That didn’t even happen when I met my ex-wife, or married her. For this post, I’ve had to kind of force myself to get back in the right headspace to pay attention to the world’s problems once again.

So, continuing the usual theme of how broken families are what’s wrong with our society today … I’m going to talk about how you can recognize when someone is truly evil. In all things, we as humans must try to see every possible angle, and be nuanced, fair, balanced, and as impartial as we can, but sometimes there isn’t two sides to an argument. Sometimes, the other side is just plain wrong and malicious.

Trust me, I spent the entire second-half of 2020 trying to convince myself my ex-wife must have a point with all the malicious things she’s done and continues to do. So, when I say there is no legitimate other side to this argument, it’s not from a lack of thinking it through ad nauseam, because I have.

This makes me think of Martin Luther King Jr. When he gave his timeless speech in which he said, “I have a dream,” he didn’t give any credit to the other side of the argument, because it was a rare – very rare – instance when it was better not to. He never said, “Those guys who lynch us, sic dogs on us, and blast us with firehoses … they might have a point, too.” No, King, in his speech, said that he has a dream, while the other side has a nightmare (my paraphrase). Again, it’s extremely rare for the other side of any given argument, in any given situation, to not be worth a minute of consideration, but this was one such instance. King was right in simply wanting people to be judged by their character, not skin. Today’s Left would hate him, because he’d be staunchly against bigotry against whites.

Well, like my paraphrase of King’s speech, I have a dream for what is best for my daughter, while her mother has a nightmare.

A complete family is always better than a broken family, period. A child should be raised by both parents, period. A child should be raised in one home, period. A child should see their parents working together in all things, period. A child should see their parents setting the best example of how to make good choices, period.

It baffles me that her own family is not as disgusted with her as I’ve been the past two years. (Well, humans are tribal animals… Tribal even when we don’t know why.)

Put simply: I stepped up when I didn’t have to. There is no counterargument to that.

I was certain I would lose when our divorce went all the way to court. Our system is rigged against men, and I still stepped up.

My body has a finite amount of energy to use day-to-day. Sometimes, it was overwhelming to balance working full-time and being a single father. But I still stepped up.

I have limited funds, especially when having a parasitic ex-wife. And I still stepped up.

I’m still young, and have good health, good looks, and intelligence. I didn’t choose to live a life of fun. I didn’t choose to enjoy my youth while I still have it. I stepped up.

I never have, and never will, dump my responsibility as a father upon anyone else. I don’t, and never have, dropped her off with someone just so I can go party or hook up with a girl for a night. The only time I ever ask anyone to watch her in my stead is if I absolutely need it, like when I have to go to work. That’s stepping up.

How could I do all of this if I didn’t truly believe it was the right thing to do for my daughter? How could I do all of this if I didn’t truly care about what’s best for my baby?

No, I am not a perfect parent. But whatever mistakes I make, or things I overlook, what NO ONE can say is that ANY of my flaws as a parent stem from not taking my parenting responsibility seriously.

Hear that, stepfamily? Rod, Jeff, Sally, Rue, Michelle, Paul… I know you’re glad I’m gone, because from the very beginning you thought she made a mistake in marrying me and having a child with me, but has it ever, literally ever, crossed your minds that I easily, easily could have abandoned my responsibility as a father, or even just took it less seriously?

What a mistake for her to marry someone who immediately proceeded to try starting a business, AND insisted we live with a couple members of your family in order to be safer and save more money, AND embraced his responsibility as a father! Yeah, hopefully the next guy she marries is an upgrade from me, like a tattoo-covered, cigarette-breath, alcoholic, deadbeat father.

I’ve been noticing something my ex-wife does predictably: Whenever she knows she has no argument, whenever she knows she’s been cornered, argumentatively, she pretends as if she never had that position in the first place. For example, like what I described in a recent post about how my ex-wife believes fathers never need to be around, even if they’re good. My ex-wife denied that was her stance, and pretended her stance was always just wanting a good father for our daughter. So, I posted audio from our court trial, in which she outright, explicitly said that she believes that kids don’t need to see their father often, even if their father is good. Here’s that audio once again…

She knows she still, to this day, wants me to give up, and surrender all parenting responsibilities to our daughter. She knows she wants me out of the picture. She knows that if I chose to walk away, she wouldn’t spend one second trying to stop me. (Anyone who believes I’d be the same way, is an idiot.) I could write an entire post alone about how I know this to be true about her.

I’ve come to realize that my ex-wife is so immensely immature that she would literally rather die than ever admit she was wrong.

Anyone who reads this post, anyone who regularly reads my blog, including and especially my ex-wife and her boy toys, really ask yourselves why I would take up all this responsibility – this exhausting, expensive, time-consuming responsibility – if I didn’t have the best intentions? If I didn’t truly want what’s best for my baby? Please try to explain that one.

Why don’t I accept a typical 2-days-every-2-weeks plan like so many fathers have? Especially since I’m already paying “child support” right now even though I have my daughter 4 days a week anyway. Why not just reduce my parenting time to virtually 0 if I’m already being forced to throw money at my ex-wife?

No matter which way you slice it, it’s just plain undeniable that I stepped up 100%. Not 0%, not 50%… I stepped up 100%. Even a delusional, soulless creature like my ex-wife knows I’m a committed father. That’s why she has to resort to lies to make herself look good. It’s why she resorts to games and manipulation tactics, with me and everyone else. I don’t need to lie, I only need to show the world just a fraction of the proof, like the audio sample above.

My commitment as a father should be obvious. With that obvious fact, it should also be obvious why I keep talking about everything I learned from my ex-wife on this blog. I’ll never stop wanting what’s best for my baby, and thus, I’ll never stop despising my ex-wife for breaking up our family for selfish, immature reasons.

I promised myself decades ago that I wouldn’t allow my kids to grow up as a broken family like I did, so I am also angry with myself for choosing a woman who didn’t even try. A woman who still needs to grow up. A woman who wasn’t even interested in being a mother at first. Love is blind, for sure.