This post is a quasi-second-part to the previous.
It breaks my heart that my daughter will never have full-siblings. She will be just like her mother in that regard, which I’m partly convinced her mother did intentionally.
I encourage everyone reading this to do their own research regarding the importance of siblings. Generally with this blog, I don’t provide links, for the sole purpose of motivating my readers to do their own research. No different with this post.
Psychologists are on my side here: Kids benefit mentally from having siblings growing up, and how we grow up is the foundation for the adults we become.
As everyone who read my previous post knows, I tried talking to my daughter’s mother about this very subject. I most certainly do consider this an important subject. I reminded her that I tried talking about this subject while we were married, and she responded to that saying, “Well, we’re not married anymore.” Again, what a dumbfuck. It’s like she forgot that we still share a child, regardless of our relationship status. I pray she’s not so incredibly stupid that she believed I was talking about the two of us making a sibling for our daughter…….. Granted, if that happened, our daughter would be better for it, but that would only be possible in a world where my ex-wife was a faithful wife and a true mother.
Speaking of being a true mother….
My ex-wife responded, overall, to this whole subject with complete disregard and laughter. As a side note, I do love seeing her being smug, because it’s like watching a chihuahua act like it’s tough, or like watching a child think they know better than the adults in their life in every subject. Anyway… the mere fact my ex-wife responded to this whole subject with disregard further proves one important thing: She’s not a true mother.
This reaction was her FIRST instinct. Her instinct was not wondering if siblings could provide any kind of benefit to our daughter. If she thinks our daughter doesn’t need siblings, the very least she could do, IF she was a true mother, is ask me, “Why do you think she needs siblings?”
No, her first and only reaction is believing our daughter doesn’t need anybody else. Her logic, she outright admitted, is that our daughter “has a big family.” She mentioned our daughter’s cousins …… who are a minimum of 10 years older than her. Yes, genius, because cousins who are in a completely different stage of life, who live in completely different homes, who are raised by completely different parents, under different rules, are definitely MORE beneficial than growing up with other kids whom you live with and share at least one parent(s).
Read my post about stupid people. I genuinely wish I was stupid enough to smugly believe whatever I wanted. Any thought that goes through their defective brains that they like is automatically true…
It also did not even begin to occur to her that I, our daughter’s father, take these kinds of things seriously. EVEN IF she disagrees about siblings, or disagrees about anything at all, it STILL never remotely crosses her mind that I care enough about our daughter’s future to consider how I could enrich it, or how her mother and I could enrich our daughter’s life together as a team, even if we’re separated.
A true mother would recognize this. A true mother would appreciate this.
My ex-wife still doesn’t fathom why I despise her….
I have at least 9 siblings, and it’s likely around 12 in total. I’ve only known 4 of them, and I threw all 4 of them out of my life years ago. When I attempted to explain to my ex-wife that “family is forever,” she arrogantly laughed and tried to educate me about how “family isn’t forever.” She completely missed the point. The point being: When you are siblings, you always have that connection, even if you want nothing to do with each other. You will always share blood, you will always share at least one parent. As social animals, that’s always important, to at least a small degree.
But since my ex-wife is a bimbo, she thought my meaning was: Family is always part of your life. Seriously, it’s like she’s never met me before. (I just can’t fathom how stupid she is.)
I’m going to conclude this post on the most important point. My ex-wife arrogantly believes that cousins, in completely different stages of life, are sufficient. She also seems to think friends are more sufficient than siblings as well. That’s what I want to talk about now: Friends.
For everyone reading this post, ask yourself: Do you still know ANY of the friends you had when you were 3? How about when you were 8? I’m not implying that nobody ever keeps friends from their childhood, it certainly can happen, but it’s on the rarer side. As far as I can tell, my ex-wife herself doesn’t have a single friend from before high school.
Even still, even when people have friends from elementary school, how often do those friends stick around, truly? They may still be in your life during your 20s, but when you enter your 30s, the odds they are still in your life significantly reduces. 40s? The odds reduce even more. 50s? It’s almost guaranteed at that point. Seriously, how often do you meet 50- or 60 or 70-year-olds who still have friends from elementary school?
This is part of what I mean by always having a connection to your siblings even if you guys want nothing to do with each other. They will always be your siblings. Friends are NOT forever. Friendships are extremely volatile. One argument can destroy friendships forever. When I think about … Amy, for example, I realize she and I have absolutely no permanent connection whatsoever. She and I were friends, and that’s it. It’s the greatest contributing reason why Amy is no longer in my life. We were never family, we were never blood. Now, one of my brothers, on the other hand – the one I grew up with – even though I think he has a big heart, and he’s never done anything heinous, he has issues that he never even tried to fix within himself. But, just a couple months ago, he reached out to me and asked if I’d be willing to be part of his life again. See, that was only possible because he and I are brothers – we are blood. If I had just been some friend, he and I would have nothing to help bring us back into each other’s lives.
So, for the last time, I will say: Family is permanent, even if many of them you don’t want in your life. There is always that connection.
I want my daughter to have siblings because there is the POTENTIAL of her siblings also being her friends, for life. Even if she ever has a falling out with her sibling(s), they would still have that connection. They would still have the potential for being an emotional resource for her, no matter how old she gets. There is ALSO the fact of how growing up together, under the same parentage, helps kids develop.
Please do your own research on this. Don’t take my word for it. Psychologists are on my side here. It’s always more beneficial to have parents who stay together, than it is to have siblings at all, but still, siblings are nonetheless important for a child’s development. Childhood is the foundation for how a person lives as an adult.
I could go on and on. The point with all of this is: If my ex-wife was a true mother, which I’ve known for years now is not the case, she wouldn’t have even come close to scoffing at the idea of our daughter having siblings. She thinks that a bunch of aunts and uncles and cousins are plenty. She thinks that the mere size of her extended family is enough on its own. She thinks her large, dysfunctional, never-happy, drama-filled, perpetually-pissed-off, non-communicative, begrudgingly-supportive, abusive family, is enough on its own.
What a mistake it was to fall in love with her.