I Love Frozen

I love Frozen, but for atypical reasons.

I find Frozen hilarious. It’s not funny because of Olaf, the Jar Jar Binks of Disney movies. It’s not funny because it’s so terrible, though that is almost the case.

I love Frozen because it perfectly demonstrates two things: What a real woman looks like, and the problems typical women cause.

The plot of the movie is: A queen with ice powers can’t control her powers because she’s overly emotional, and she takes too long to figure out how to control her powers because she copes with the situation in typical female ways, such as running away, keeping secrets, and refusing to search for a solution, all while insisting she’s doing everything exactly right.

That’s not me overthinking it, that’s not me reading between the lines, that is literally the plot of the movie.

How did this escape Disney’s notice? Seriously, Disney, the leader in left-wing propaganda in the entertainment industry, somehow didn’t notice this was the plot of their movie. I guess it escaped everybody’s notice, somehow, so I guess it’s not too surprising.

Frozen is about how women can ruin things for everyone when they are given something they shouldn’t have – power. Elsa has a lot of power, doesn’t know how to properly use it, and she ruins things for everyone because she doesn’t have a grip on her emotions. But there are even more important lessons that can be gained from it. For example, how Elsa’s father failed in raising her, and his failures as a father in teaching Elsa to control her emotions got exacerbated by his death. But that’s for another post at another time…

I can’t stand Elsa in this movie. Now, Anna, on the other hand, I adore. Anna is the perfect counter for Elsa, in that she shows Elsa how she ought to behave as a woman. But I’ll save that bit for last.


Let’s break this movie down…

Anna and Elsa’s Intro Scene

When we first meet the sisters, we see them playing in the throne room. Elsa freaks out when she thinks Anna is about to fall. But if you look closely, you see that Anna was already going to land safely on a mound of snow. So, she hit Anna for no reason. It wasn’t like she was going to save Anna from anything if she hadn’t messed up, because Anna was already safe. So, she struck Anna in the head for no reason other than having an emotional reaction (worrying too much over nothing).

Coronation Day

So, ever since the night the rock trolls healed Anna’s injury, and Anna lost memory of Elsa’s powers, Elsa wasn’t allowed to tell her sister about her powers. But all the way up to Elsa’s coronation, Elsa keeps it a secret. She keeps it a secret even after they are nearly grown up. She keeps it a secret even after childish impulses are no longer an issue.

Then, on the night of her coronation, at the party, she continues to tell Anna nothing. She doesn’t JUST refuse to tell Anna her secret, she refuses to tell Anna anything at all. So, it seems natural that Anna leaps into the arms of the first eligible bachelor who’s interested in her. The only family she has left has only ever rejected her… It’s also natural that Anna would lose control of herself when that same sister wouldn’t allow her to be with that man. Nobody can blame Anna for having a meltdown in that moment.

“Please, please, I can’t live like this anymore!”

“Then, leave.”

WHO WOULD RESPOND LIKE THAT? There are so many other things Elsa could have said in that moment. She could have simply asked Anna to trust her, she could have apologized, she could have said nothing at all, or best of all, she could have JUST TOLD ANNA HER SECRET, since they’re, you know, adults now.

Anyway, so Anna begs Elsa to just know what’s going on, and Elsa stubbornly insists on saying nothing. Anna pushes until Elsa has an outburst, because of course Elsa has an outburst, and that’s when Elsa shows her powers to everyone. Then Elsa, continuing to be rational as always, runs far away. Oh, and she inadvertently sets off an eternal winter as she’s running.

Let It Go

Oh look, Frozen has its own version of “Hakuna Matata.” When you think about it, both Hakuna Matata and Let It Go just translate to “Fuck It.” Both are terrible messages to send to children.

So, Elsa decides to no longer care about her duties as queen, or being with her people, and builds herself a castle to live in. I’m not exaggerating here, the song Let It Go is literally about Elsa choosing not to care about her obligations anymore. I would respect her more as a character if she exiled herself out of a sense of duty, but this song undoes any chance of that being a thing. She sings a song about not caring anymore.

Inside Elsa’s Ice Castle

When Anna reaches Elsa’s ice castle, Elsa wastes no time in saying she needs to go. She insists she belongs there so she can’t hurt anybody. When Anna tells her that she started an eternal winter everywhere, Elsa just stands there and says she can’t stop it. (She can.) Then, when Anna once again pushes her to try, Elsa just has another outburst and strikes Anna with her powers. Then, Elsa just repeats herself and says they need to go. So much for the concern about what you just did, Elsa.

What does Elsa do when Anna refuses to give up? Elsa creates a giant snowman to remove them by force. (Yes, I’ll elaborate on that later.)

When Elsa is Attacked

This is the one scene where I am proud of Elsa. Well, at least until the end, and then she disappoints me yet again. When two men in Prince Hans’ company storm the ice castle and try to kill Elsa, she does the right thing in defending herself by trying to kill them first. But then Prince Hans reminds her that she’s in a Disney film, and so she stops. That’s what disappointed me. Elsa is told she’d be a monster to stand her ground, and she bought it. But since she left one of the guys trying to kill her only immobilized, the guy raises his crossbow and tries to shoot her.

Back in Arendelle

Elsa is brought back to Arendelle, and even though this is well before Hans lied saying Anna is dead, she starts making the winter even worse. Seriously, I don’t know why she immediately started making the winter worse when just woke up in a prison cell.

Anyway, Elsa breaks free using her powers, and then she kind of just stumbles around not having a clue where to go… Until Prince Hans finds her and THEN lies saying she killed Anna. Then Hans tries to kill her, Anna puts herself in front of the blade and freezes, which somehow knocks out Hans, and then Anna unfreezes. Then, Elsa’s like, “Oh yeah, I could use this other emotion called love to make my powers undo the winter.”

Overall Character Analysis

For the life of me, I don’t know why anybody admires Elsa as a character. There’s nothing to respect. In fact, the reasons everyone else likes her are reasons I think she’s a shitty character and a terrible role model.

I personally like her because she’s an epitomizing example of a grown woman who’s still mentally a girl, which most women in the 21st Century are. She runs away from her problems, even if it makes things worse for other people; she thinks abandoning responsibility is something to celebrate (“Let It Go”), she insists that she’s always right (when she says she can’t stop the winter), she refuses to talk her problems out for the sake of hiding that she has a problem in the first place, etc.

And I just ABSOLUTELY ADORE the fact that her powers are ice. Because what typical, immature woman can’t be described as cold? The word “ice” perfectly, ironically, hilariously describes Elsa’s entire character, and overall describes how women treat people they don’t like/don’t care about.

You might be thinking I’m being unfair toward Elsa, because she’s trying to do the right thing. And to that I would say: That’s exactly what makes Elsa a piece of shit. She is completely convinced what she is doing, by running away, by keeping secrets, by neglecting her responsibilities, is the right thing to do. Even when Anna outright explains that Elsa can fix the damage she’s caused, Elsa continues to have childish meltdowns and insist she’s right and Anna is wrong.

So, is Elsa’s heart in the right place? Of course not, because if it was, she wouldn’t rest until she found a way to fix the damage she caused, instead of just giving in to her feelings because that’s the easy thing to do. Yes, I know she doesn’t want to hurt people, but her negligence is hurting people, and she still thinks she’s completely in the right.

(Bonus note:) Notice how, when women can’t get someone to do what they want, they resort to getting someone, usually a man, to make it happen? Like when moms say “wait until your dad comes home!” or how selfish mothers go crying to the government and playing victim in order to steal the kids from their father, and take his money, and his car, and his house, etc. I’m reminded of this when Elsa summons a giant snowman to kick out Anna and Kristoff. It’s so typical. She can’t make something happen herself, so she gets someone to do it for her.

ANNA (is amazing)

I love Anna because she is everything a woman should be. Men, find yourself a girl like Anna. I’m not remotely kidding here. While Elsa is an example of a typical woman, Anna is example of a woman who is worth pursuing, marrying, and keeping for the rest of your lives.

Anna puts other people first during this entire movie. Everyone always thinks of the ending, how she sacrifice herself to save Elsa, but she does this all throughout the movie.

When she and Kristoff are getting chased by wolves, she says, “But I want to help!”

When she is FUCKING DYING and Kristoff is carrying her to the castle gates, she asks Kristoff, “Are you gonna be okay?’

Anna also has absolutely no problem admitting faults and mistakes. When the Duke of Weselton is freaking out about Elsa’s powers, Anna responds, “I was the one who pushed her, so I have to go after her.” When Anna is riding horseback, alone, through the snowy mountains, she calls out to Elsa, “It’s all my fault!”

When it’s her fault that Kristoff lost his sled, she promises to replace his sled, and then starts to continue looking for Elsa by herself, WITHOUT begging or guilting Kristoff into continuing to help her, at all. She doesn’t ever resort to blaming Kristoff for his sled being lost, she just fully accepts that it never would have happened if it weren’t for her. And she knew full-well that she’d probably die looking for Elsa on her own.

If Anna was a real person, and she liked me, I’d make so many kids with her…

Anna’s entire arc in this story is about being selfless. She is constantly trying to bring people together and make sure that everybody is okay. She ONLY ever puts other people first, as if she has no regard whatsoever for her own wellbeing. And she doesn’t do it in any way that lessens her femininity (sorry, feminists, Anna isn’t a man with tits). She is still very feminine. For example, what’s her solution to ending the eternal winter? “I am going to talk to my sister!” Yeah, she’s going to “social” the problem away. I never said it was an effective method, but it’s the feminine method nonetheless.

And hell, let’s even look at coronation party at the beginning, when she pushes Elsa too far. She did what women do, which is complain and cry, but in this particular case, I think she’s 100% justified in doing so, because Elsa’s behavior was not remotely justified. Being a cold bitch is Elsa’s entire character after all.

Last thing I want to observe about Anna is her quirkiness and the reason for it. Her strange, clumsy personality doesn’t seem to be inherent. It seems to be a result of both losing her parents and being neglected by her sister. This is also why I don’t blame her whatsoever for leaping into the arms of the first man (Prince Hans) who showed her attention; she was rightfully desperate for someone to show her love. But it seems obvious to me that her quirkiness and clumsiness stems from having a lesser opinion of herself after years of rejection by her sister. She overthinks everything she does, to the point she comes across as airheaded, even though she is far from it. (Too much thinking certainly can make someone look like they don’t think at all.)

Why examine the reason behind Anna’s quirkiness and clumsiness? Because that’s the personality she developed over time INSTEAD of developing a conceited, angry, take-whatever-I-can-from-everybody-around-me personality. And she certainly didn’t shut out the rest of the world like her shit sister. It’s almost as if she is in constant emotional pain from everything she’s been through, and instead of pushing back against it, she accepted it instead. It didn’t change her – she kept being an amazing girl – but it did leave her a bit broken. She doesn’t function as well as she used to, but she kept her soul.


So, that’s my take on Frozen. I love that movie for a reason probably no one else does: It shows how most women are (which is Elsa), and it shows what they ought to be (which is Anna).