Nothing Without Women | SWFT #3

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SWFT is a movement I am trying to start, meant to reverse the damage of feminism, without resorting to spite and hatred, like the MGTOW movement. Women themselves are invited, with enthusiasm, to be part of the movement.

“[There have been] two turning points [in my life.] One when I came out of the womb and one when I met Susie. What happened with me would not have happened without her.”

– Warren Buffett, net worth $88 billion

(the guy in the picture)

When I look at the richest people in the world, like Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, and Warren Buffet, I can’t help but notice all of them have/had a woman by their side. Warren Buffet’s wife died in 2004, but they’d been together since 1952. Bill Gates is still married to the same woman he’s always been with.

The story I know best is that of Jeff Bezos. He was working at a hedge fund in New York when he met his future wife Mackenzie. Then, after they got married, he approached her and asked her if she’d be okay if he quit his job and if they moved to Seattle so that he could start a bookstore on the internet… Didn’t sound like the grandest idea, but Mackenzie didn’t hesitate to say, “Okay.”

That was the moment Amazon was conceived: The moment Mackenzie said, “Okay.”

After Bezos got his parents to invest $300,000 into the startup, he and Mackenzie drove across the country to Seattle. During the drive, Mackenzie was at the wheel while Jeff was writing out the company’s business plan. Note that at the time, Jeff Bezos hadn’t thought any further into the future with Amazon; he was creating an online bookstore and that’s all either one of them knew.

Mackenzie was okay with her new husband quitting his well-paying job to move somewhere they’d never lived before to start a bookstore on this weird, sloooooow thing on computers called the internet. She believed in her husband, and she was 100% supportive.

My point with all this is: I’ve seen plenty of men who can get by without a good woman (myself included), but I have never once, NOT ONCE, seen a man become truly successful in life without a good woman by his side.

When I think about this subject, and I look back at how I tried to start a business with my wife… In hindsight, I think I made a mistake in not leaving her first, as soon as I saw she was not supportive. When she chose to watch American Dad all day, and read the same YA books all day, instead of trying to support her husband’s risky venture in building a life for our family… That’s when I should have taken off. And I don’t say that out of spite, I say that out of obvious logic. A spouse that doesn’t support you in what you want to do … is no spouse at all.

My ex-wife didn’t even know what she wanted to do with her life. I remember asking her about this, and she said she never knew. I asked, “You didn’t even want to be a princess or something?” And she said no, she truly didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life.

Then, there’s the fact (I’ve mentioned many times before) that she didn’t have any desire to be a mother. I’m grateful that she allowed herself to get pregnant, but that was a favor to me, it wasn’t something her heart was in… At least, not until she had a change of heart seeing her daughter with her own eyes.

When I say she was a good wife, which she absolutely was, what I mean is that she was good to me. Unfortunately, she was godawful as a wife when it came to our future as a couple. She had no desires with her future, not to be a mother, not to be supportive to her husband’s attempt to build us a life, not to anything. She was good to me, but as a wife, she was an empty shell.

Our marriage was doomed to fail for this reason alone. It’s okay for a spouse (either one) to not have any dreams or desires with their future, but to be so … empty … as to not even be helpful toward the spouse who does want to try their hardest to do something… That’s when you have a moral obligation to call it all off. I realized my wife was holding me back, long before she left me. But I was too loyal. I refused to give up on the marriage, because vows are vows.

Marriages only work when both spouses walk side-by-side. My marriage was like I was walking, and she was sitting in a wagon behind me and I had to pull her along. That’s not sustainable.

The most successful men always have the right woman by their side. Even when I think of my ex-wife’s own family, that is still the case. For all of their asinine drama, for all of their gossip and intolerance, there is one thing that family has always gotten right: They married people who get them further ahead in life.

Take my ex-wife’s grandparents for example. Her grandma really wanted to start having festivals with the farm, but Grandpa was staunchly against it. So, her grandma just said, “Fuck it,” and made the festival a thing anyway, and to this day, that festival is the profitable thing about their farm. My point is, even when those two were at odds, they still got each other further ahead. Even when they clashed, they still allowed each other to keep going forward, together.

Or, take my ex-wife’s uncle and aunt, Paul and Michelle. I’ve seen, up close, those two clash like kaiju. I’ve seen them get in heated fights. But after 20 years, they are still together. Love is a component, yes, but an absolutely vital component is the fact they are always working, working, working, and they always work together. Everything they do, they do as a team.

The couples in that entire family clash and fight all the damn time, and yet they stay together. My ex-wife and I almost never had fights (and even when we did, they never got that heated), and yet, our marriage only lasted 2 years.

So, even when you clash all the time, if the right pieces are there, the puzzle stays together. The fights have no effect.

I’m not trying to sound therapeutic for couples in general, I’m trying to make a point about how men need a good woman by their side. They NEED her, as in, they cannot get further in life without one.

Real success in men only come from finding the right woman. It’s a matter of luck, more than it is skill in business, or how hard they work their job. It’s a matter of luck in that they found the right woman in the first place.

I won’t ever get further in life until I find the right woman. I never did. Lisa, my childhood love, whom I grew up with, was the closest I ever got to the right woman, but I think what made our permanent separation inevitable was when I became an atheist. Once that happened, it became outright impossible for us to ever work out. She wanted to be a missionary, and she needed to be with a guy who could help her grow spiritually, which I would not have been able to do for her anymore.