I’ve long claimed there’s no such thing as toxic masculinity, but there is a such thing as toxic femininity. Now I explain how. Here it is.
Women have long been their own greatest enemies. This seems true on an individual basis, and true with one another.
What prompted me to write about this subject was watching the featurettes of one of my favorite movies, Mean Girls. At one point, Tina Fey made the ‘joke’ that women would rule the world if they didn’t all hate each other. A couple years ago, this entire subject was seeded in my mind when I was watching Family Guy with my then-wife, and it made a joke about how guys can compliment each other just fine, but women overdue their compliments to each other and it’s almost always fake. (“Men. We know how to be friends!”)
So, why do women hate each other? Why are they fake towards each other? And why are they toxic to each other even when they are genuinely connected to each other?
Well, I’ve basically already explained all of this. Women are conceited, solipsistic creatures. What matters to them most in life is themselves and what belongs to them. They are not masculine. They are not wired to be sacrificial, to be generous, or to highly altruistic.
Before I get into the meat of this topic, I will touch on why women are conceited creatures to begin with. They evolved as the weaker half of the population. They can’t compete with men physically or mentally, and thus their survival instincts are drastically different than men’s. Their survival instinct depends entirely on influence. It’s not just influencing men (though that is most of it), it is also about influencing other women. Men, being stronger and more cognitive, could protect them and provide for them, especially while they were pregnant.
Men and women are competitive, but women are competitive in a completely different way than men. They need to be the best, to draw as much attention as they can, from those most willing to make them secure and comfortable.
When they ‘compliment’ each other, it is for a self-serving purpose, such as getting another girl to like them, or at the very least, for the other girl to lower her guard. The purpose of this is making the other girl be less of a social or romantic threat. Sometimes it’s temporary niceness just to get the other girl to tell them “where they got that.” All in all, when females compliment each other, they are really expressing their own interest in something the other has. They want those earrings, or they want that shirt, or they want that purse, etc. They ‘overdue’ their compliments because it’s a performance, not genuine. Men compliment each other very simply and straightforward because we mean it. We also don’t put much emotional stock into compliments anyway.
This goes back to what I said about how influence has always been women’s prime survival strategy. To get men to protect them and provide for them, they evolved to appeal to men’s need to spread their seed. In other words, they want to look as attractive as possible. In any woman’s mind, they want to stand out above the other girls. Because other girls can acquire what they want in exactly the same way. They have to be more appealing to the eyes. And what draws men in the most is looking healthy and fertile.
Sometimes, and this is more the case in the modern era than in the past, it’s not just about finding a mate. It could be about social status in general. These days, women can find themselves filthy rich without being with a man, through prostitution or through OnlyFans (which I call ‘ProstitutionLite’). Either way, with or without a mate, a woman’s prime directive in life is being safe and provided for. The path to those things doesn’t always require them to have a man with them at the end of the journey, but it 100% of the time requires them to influence men while they are on that path.
I made mention of how women are bad for each other even when they are genuinely friends with each other. How is that? Well, it’s all part of the same baby-making instinct package. In addition to everything I’ve said so far, there are two more things going on at the same time. 1), A woman’s psyche is highly similar to that of babies and kids, and 2), That motherly instinct is ever-present even if they are not mothers, or if they are mothers but their child is not currently present.
Women have psyches similar to that of children because they need to think like children in order to best care for them. Take Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for example. Notice how every single time she opens her mouth, she has to talk about how “We need to take better care of this helpless group of people,” or she has to talk about how unfair something is. She’s not a mother, but she still thinks like one, which is thinking very similar to a child. I’ve seen one video of AOC giving an angry speech, and she can’t help but throw her arms around as if she’s throwing a fit … like a child. But AOC is one example out of billions. This is women. Maybe not strictly in the ‘throwing arms around’ sense, but behaving like children when upset in general. In comes in variations, but it’s the same general idea with 99.99% of women.
When it comes to women being friends with each other (before I get even more sidetracked…), that motherly instinct, which is ever-present, still always gets in the way. That need to nurture, that need to comfort, that need to … be needed.
Women’s instincts aren’t much help in truly helping each other, or even helping men, because their instincts center around getting children to feel comforted. Their instincts do not center around making people stronger. That’s a man’s instinct. Men make people stronger and better, through criticism and honesty and sometimes just leaving people to fend for themselves so that they learn the lesson the hard way. Women, on the other hand, have tremendous difficulty ignoring that urge to just keep comforting, endlessly.
Even worse is the need to be needed. That may be the crux of this entire subject. Where men are satisfied in knowing they transformed someone into the best version of themselves, women find satisfaction in being needed. And you know how they keep being needed? Women are needed whenever someone is not strong enough on their own. Their satisfaction depends entirely on other people being lesser, and weaker, so that they never stop being needed.
I don’t think this was true thousands of years ago. I think thousands of years ago, women got pregnant every chance they possibly could, and thus their endless need to be … needed … was always being satisfied, because there were always children running around, whether it was their own kids or not. These days, we just don’t have large families much anymore, because people just don’t want to make families anymore, or make kids at all, like we used to.
But that feminine instinct is still ever-present … and thus it gets satisfied in the toxic ways I just described.
You might be wondering how this relates to real women, in my mind. Well, that’s simple. Real women make families, and when they are surrounded by other real women, they therefore make communities. In those communities, the women are (for the most part) safe and satisfied with what they have. There is always the need to have more, but it’s not strong enough to push them to do exploitative, manipulative, heartless things. And when real women, in communities they made together, make friends with each other, they still don’t make each other stronger or better … but they don’t have to. Because they already have the very things they evolved to need. They have kids, they have lifelong mates, and they have safe communities.
That’s why real women are happier and live longer lives.