Well, I thought I had expressed every possible lesson/epiphany I gained from the greatest disappointment of my life, but turns out I am wrong.
I have pointed out to my ex-wife that she clearly wants to be enemies. She denies it every time, but then conveniently can’t tell me what she does actually want between us. No coincidence; she knows it’s a bad idea to admit she wants to be enemies. When I am kind to her, she is cruel. Half the time when I ask her something (regardless if it is or isn’t about our daughter), she ignores it. Plus, there is the complete lack of effort to be on good terms of any kind, since day one. I wish, I really do wish, that she had at least tried to make amends in the beginning, but she never did. Never.
What kind of person is this? I’ll tell you.
The other day, during one of those periods when I was 100% nice to her no matter how reprehensible she was acting, I told her it seems she has never been happy. She told me she was happy, the first time she moved away from her stepfather/mother and started living with her first boyfriend named Dylan. She then said she was happy because, and I quote, “He was my best friend.”
Guess how she left him? One night, completely without warning, she said she has decided to leave him. The next morning, she moved in with me. That’s when she told me how she dumped him, and I told her that sounded unbelievably cold. And I never knew, until recently, that she felt happy with him and thought of him as her best friend instead of just a boyfriend. I didn’t know he was that special to her, ever.
Still, THAT is how she left him. And I’ve already written 100,000 words on how she left me and what she’s done since.
When she started living with another ‘man,’ she did not tell me. I had to figure it out on my own, and figure out who the hell the guy was in the first place. She tried to keep it a secret the fact she started making our daughter spend half the week living with someone who’s a complete stranger to me. A male, nonetheless.
Guess what her justification was for keeping this from her daughter’s father? She said I “didn’t deserve the courtesy” to be told. Yes, when it comes to knowing whether or not our daughter is LIVING WITH other people, particularly people I know nothing about, that is a privilege that I have to earn, in her mind. (I seriously wish her good luck defending that in court without cowering behind the victim card again.)
And she wonders why I’ve been so angry with her for 2 years…
“Women” like my ex-wife play these games for a reason. The same reason people play any type of game: To win.
Not once has my ex-wife tried to make peace with me. Not once has she made a kind gesture. Not once has she asked me anything, such as if she could have some of my parenting time to visit her real father. Even if she was certain I would always make such efforts fruitless (which I wouldn’t), the fact is, she still has never tried even once. Not when we first separated, and not now. She doesn’t try to do what’s right, period.
And she wonders why she’s lost in court twice now.
The game is: Do everything it takes to make me as angry as possible so that she can point to me and tell people, “See?? He’s so horrible and always was!!” The game is to do this not just with her friends and family, but more importantly, to curate these situations for the next time we go to court. And the next time. And the next time.
She can’t (try to) take anything unless she’s a victim, and she can’t play the victim card if I’m being nice to her. Thus, she has to try to piss me off as often as possible. A good person wouldn’t be so skilled at doing this, let alone want to play this game in the first place.
She believes her own lies. I have no doubt. She seems convinced that because she’s brought out my ugly side for 2 years now, that that was all I ever was when we were together. She’s tried telling people she was always unhappy with me (which explains why she married me). She’s tried telling people, through mental gymnastics, that I was an abusive husband.
There’s a term for this. The term is: Throwing shit at the wall until something sticks. Well, so far, the only thing that has stuck was something my actions could never have prevented, which is the fact she uses the government to steal my money. Oh, by the way, using our biased laws to seize custody also rewards her with money from the government, not just me. So whenever I say she wants free money, I’m also talking about general benefits that come with being a single parent. There’s a lot of free money in pretending to be a victim.
It’s no longer subjective, or a mystery, whether or not she is a despicable person. That’s pretty damn confirmed by now.
Okay, folks. Until next time I need to vent my anger… Ciao.