B versus B

What does a real woman look like?

If you’re wondering what the title means… My name starts with M, and my best friend’s name starts with M. When I was married, both our wives’ names started with B. So, it was M and M being married to B and B. Just some funny coincidences I’m having fun with.

I am no longer married, obviously, but my best friend is still married, and always will be. That’s the core essence of what I want to talk about with this post…

B versus B. Why is one wife far superior to the other? It’s entirely about being a girl, versus being a real woman.

I’ve seen my best friend clash with his wife. I’ve seen them disagree. I’ve seen his wife get very annoyed/frustrated with him. But I never worry for even a moment that their marriage could ever fall apart.

I’ve actually talked to her about this very subject. The feeling I get when I talk to my best friend’s wife is that she understands everything – and I do mean EVERYTHING – that I wish my ex-wife understood. Based on the conversations I’ve had with her, she perfectly understands that marriage is for life, that couples will inevitably clash at times, that there will always be someone out there in the world who would be better at this and better at that but it’s still crucial (and leads to greater happiness) to just stick with the person you married.

And she’s younger than my ex-wife.

My best friend’s wife doesn’t pretend to be something she’s not. She doesn’t try to prove how ‘empowered’ she is in any way, shape, or form. While women everywhere are making themselves miserable (which is a statistical fact – women ARE becoming more miserable with each passing decade that they try to become more like men), she is busy embracing her femininity, by taking care of her babies while her husband is out earning money for all of them to live on.

That lifestyle choice makes her a real woman. It doesn’t make her weak. In fact, I makes her damn strong. I’m actually careful with what I say/do around her because I respect her so much, and I fear doing anything that would make her lose respect for me.

That lifestyle does not, at all, make women lesser. That is actually what equality looks like. Men are wired for one thing, women are wired for another, and this is what marriage was invented for: It’s for both sexes to use their natural inclinations to EACH OTHER’S benefit. Your partner should be different from you. They are your other half. If they were exactly like you, neither of you would have anything to learn or gain from the other.

My best friend goes out every day, in the cold or blistering heat, wet or dry, and sometimes at the risk of his own safety, so that his family may live comfortably. And his wife does the stressful job of watching the kids, and making sure her husband has a stress-free life when he gets home from his stressful job.

Everybody wins.

Sometimes they clash, sometimes they annoy each other, sometimes they’re dissatisfied with the way things are… But I am completely confident my best friend’s wife will never leave him (and he will never leave her). She supports her husband, and he supports her, in each their own way.

There’s something most women these days suffer from that my best friend’s wife does not. That is: Believing they should live life independent of a man. Feminists want everyone to believe that refusing to depend on a man financially, and refusing to be tied down by kids, is empowering. No, it’s the opposite of empowering. Women who embrace their nurturing nature – by focusing on their kids instead of a career, by allowing a man to take care of them – live longer AND happier lives than women who don’t.

There’s a reason old ladies who live to 100 are always married, and had kids, AND spent their lives focused on their kids and husband instead of a career. It’s no coincidence the oldest and happiest grandmas are … you know … grandmas. I’m not saying women can’t or shouldn’t do some kind of actual work, I am saying it’s better for them (and for everyone else) if their family is the first and most important focus.

My best friend’s wife will be one such old lady. She will reach an old age, and be happy, while my ex-wife with all of her permanent immaturity, will overwhelm herself with her own selfishness. (That’s the thing about immaturity: It always backfires.) I can tell she already is overwhelming herself. I cannot possibly imagine my ex-wife living nearly as long as my best friend’s wife, or nearly as happily.

It’s people like Lana – the greatest mother figure I’ve had my whole life – and people like my best friend’s wife, who remind me that real women certainly do exist. Women who don’t tear their families apart for stupid reasons, like my ex-wife did to us. Women who don’t ruin any man’s life, let alone a man they claimed to love. Women who commit to their marriage and don’t believe giving up is ever an option. Women who always find a way to make their marriage work, because there IS always a way. Women who understand basic, basic things like the fact that every couple clashes from time to time. Women who don’t lie and exaggerate and instead prefer to be honest with others and with themselves.

Remember, my best friend’s wife is younger than my ex-wife. Younger, and 3x more mature. Younger, and has already achieved status of ‘real woman,’ while my ex-wife will always just be a girl. Not only do I admire my best friend’s wife’s maturity, I highly respect her as a person as well.

I find myself trying to be careful not to disappoint her or upset her when I’m around her, because I am actually afraid of losing her respect … and she’s 7 years younger than me. When I think of a TRULY empowered woman, I think of her. It’s women like her who are the reason men want to serve women. Men are supposed to choose women like her as life-partners. It’s just such a shame that real women are outnumbered 10,000-to-1 by selfish, stupid, bratty, entitled girls. It’s a real woman, like my best friend’s wife, whom I hope to bring into my life someday, so that my daughter can be raised (at least in part) by a real woman. I just honestly don’t think I’ll find one before my daughter’s grown up…

My ex-wife seems to think I don’t understand her. I think I do; the problem is that she doesn’t understand things that she ought to … like, first and foremost, the fact that actions always speak louder than words. I understand that she believes everything she does is for her daughter. I understand that she wants time to ‘be her own person’ and whatever-the-fuck. But she’ll never admit there’s a lot she doesn’t understand. My ex-wife has never apologized for a damned thing, she has never attempted to discuss a damned thing concerning the future or the big picture. I suppose immature people never know they’re immature, and that’s exactly what makes them immature.

Same with weak people, too. Weak people like my ex-wife are weak because they don’t understand what strength is. I’d bet big bucks that my ex-wife believes that apologizing is what weak people do (as one example). In reality, no, being humble is what strength looks like, not weakness.

Damn I would love if the real women in my life, like Lana and my best friend’s wife, just sat my ex-wife down and just gave her a firm talking to.