Honesty is Love, and Love is Honesty

Honest people care the most. What do they get in return? The most hate.

That’s no exaggeration. I’ve met quite despicable people who are actually quite popular. It’s as if the reprehensible behavior is totally okay, so long as they always tell people what they want to hear.

Lately, I’ve been wondering if my long-held theory about what changed my personality is true or not. Since the beginning, I have believed what changed my personality was my upbringing. I was such a happy child that everybody loved me and I loved everybody, even people I didn’t like. I remember making tea for this grouchy old woman when I was about 4 years old, and I remember playing with kids at recess whom I thought had terrible personalities. The days of doing favors out of the blue for people I don’t like, and hanging out with people I don’t like, have been long gone, but why? I thought it was my rough upbringing, but now, I’m starting to think something else caused this change.

All these things are connected. My loving nature, my changed personality, and my fluctuating happiness… They’re all connected. Here’s how:

Perhaps it was my sheer knowledge, not my upbringing. The more I learned, the more I wanted people to know what I know. And the more inclined I became to teach.

I made a conscious decision in my teen years to be an honest person, but now I’m thinking that was always inevitable. Because deep, deep down, I have always understood that you just don’t lie to people you care about. If I remember correctly, I was already starting to become far more honest in general, long before I consciously chose to be.

Thinking about this, I went back to a video I watched on YouTube, where I remember it saying that “Love is honesty.” I think that was the seed that put these thoughts in my head. Maybe THIS is why I’m honest to a fault? I care too damn much, about everyone.

It makes sense. If I didn’t care, why would I bother speaking on this blog? Why would I bother being honest, toward anyone, ever?

I think the true reason I can’t help my honesty is because I’ve never felt lying does any good. If I say that dress doesn’t look bad, when it looks terrible, then how would my wife feel wearing a terrible dress to the party? That’s what being honest is like. Hurt feelings in the now to save worse hurt feelings in the future. It’s not always about feelings, it’s often about actual wellbeing. Sometimes, it’s even about safety.

Parents who let their kids do whatever they want, and only tell them things they want to hear, grow up to be incredibly weak people who can’t handle the real world.

In the end, honest people care the most, and in return, they are hated the most.