“Not Dating” Dating

This post is years overdue, and I don’t know why it took me so long to write this already. I’ve had this post in my mind since I first saw the movie I’m going to talk about…

Women are never single. The sooner a guy realizes that, the better off they’ll be. There is always a guy they’re messing around with, whether in a dignified way or not. It is their biology, after all, to need a man in their lives at all times, which is yet another reason I believe so strongly in marriage.

There are different levels of how involved they’ll be with a guy (even if they are full-fledged together), and there are different levels of relationship. What do I mean by ‘different levels of relationship’? Well, to explain that, let’s take a different subject as an example, like drunkenness. The different levels of drunk are buzzed, tipsy, drunk, wasted, and then blacked out. There’s probably more in between, but I can’t think of any. I’m no professional in that area. I’ve made my point regardless.

The different levels of women using men … er, I mean, levels of relationship are: 1, Sleeping With/Fucking, 2, Seeing (as in “I am seeing someone”), 3, On and Off Again, 4, It’s Complicated, and 5, In a Relationship.

Women will only tell their closest friends and family about levels 1-2. They might tell more moderately-close friends and family about levels 3-4. And finally, the only level in which they will let the whole world know is level 5, which is also the only level in which she is actually committed to the guy and actually applies some standards to herself with her relationship to him. However, with levels 1 through 4, she’s just using him, with no sense of commitment or even considering the toll it’s all having on him. Even he doesn’t know. He’s intentionally blind because he believes the deal will improve in the future.

This entire subject is one of the many, many, many reasons I just don’t understand why our society thinks women are such better people than men. Because women are literally the only gender that behaves this way. Guys don’t do this. With guys, it’s simple: “Do you want to be together, or do you not?” With guys, it’s a simple yes or no. And this is true with guys who can be faithful in a relationship and guys who can’t. Either way, guys prefer to cut the bullshit.

I’ve never seen people talking about this. Maybe that’s why it took me so many years to finally voice my opinion on this subject. Fortunately, I’ve never been interested in girls who play this stupid game, and so I’ve never really been in this situation in the first place. So, that’s probably the real reason I kept forgetting to blog about this subject.

I have only ever come across one thing, in my life, apart from my own observation, that has addressed this subject. And that is the movie (500) Days of Summer. In this movie, the two main characters are in a relationship, but the girl doesn’t want to call it a relationship. They are together for 500 days (which is 1 year, 4 months, and 2 weeks), and at the end of those 500 days, she tells the main character, “I think we should stop seeing each other.”

The movie actually tries to justify this. It tries to explain that the girl showed signs, the whole time, that she was uncertain about their relationship. The girl reminds the main character, “I told you I don’t want a relationship,” but then at the end of the movie she gets married to a different guy. The main character asks her how she could get married when she didn’t even want a relationship with anyone, and she answers, “With him, I just knew he’s the one.”

I wish this movie didn’t actually try to justify this kind of shitty behavior, but I guess I don’t really hate this movie because in real life, many, many women do this. They use guys for attention and/or sex until they finally land on one they feel like committing to. Sometimes they never commit and just use guys for a few years at a time before moving on to the next one. So, the movie gets points for realism.

My favorite part of the movie was when the main character gets honest with her about the whole situation. After a long time of sleeping together, holding hands in public together, and even living together (if I remember correctly?), and the girl keeps refusing to call them a couple, he finally snaps and says, “You’re not the only one who gets a say in this, and I say we’re a couple, god dammit!” A bit authoritative, but I know where he’s coming from. It’s never healthy to snap, or to raise your voice at someone you love, but the reason I appreciate that scene is because he said something true that she needed to hear. Without a doubt, she was using him without giving a damn about his own feelings.

She dumps him very abruptly and coldly, which is also very common for women. And when she does this, it breaks his spirit.

Girls, if you’re gonna toy with a guy, the least you can do is make sure he doesn’t love you. Don’t use someone unless they are also using you.

This subject doesn’t even end here. There are even more ways women manipulate guys’ feelings for their own personal gain. I’ll just list them instead of elaborating on them:

1. Hiding what they’re doing with a guy from someone who deserves to know (like a concerned relative, best friend, or an ex whom they share a child with when the child is frequently around the guy).

2. Being with a guy just to get back at another guy.

3. Being with a guy just for his money.

4. Having a guy get them pregnant so that he’s always in their life.

5. Having a guy get them pregnant so that they can take his money for years to come.

6. I could go on.

Ladies, commit or don’t commit, for fuck sake. And when I say commit, that word means for life. It statistically makes you much, much happier in the end, anyway.

This subject just makes me wish I was my current age in the 1950s. You know, back when we had a unified culture, and women didn’t throw the family unit in the trash. Women used to commit, even if they actually had a legitimate reason to leave, like their husband was literally evil. These days, they don’t commit for any reason. They jump around from guy to guy, seeing what they can get from each.

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