I am firmly of the belief that marriage is mankind’s most ingenious invention.
The reason I hold this opinion is because of how different men and women are. I know we live in a time when people want to think there is no difference between the sexes, but that is laughable nonsense. Not only do men and women have obvious, measurable differences in their physiology (read this article), but men and women also have very different ways of thinking.
This is the post I was trying to write when I decided to rewrite my older post Men Want to Serve, because I found myself basically rewriting it already.
Biological evolution is a very slow process. Very damn slow. That’s why you hear me so often talking about how “for 99% of human history….” This is because changes in instinct, appearance, and survival mechanism don’t change in just a few thousand years, it takes hundreds of thousands, and sometimes millions of years. Civilization has only existed for a few thousand years. My point is, humans haven’t had even close to enough time to truly diverge away from our primitive physiology and instincts. Male and female humans are still built the way we were built when we were hunter-gatherers.
Women are built to be mothers. Women were never out in the field during our hunter-gatherer days, because they have to spend 10 months being pregnant, then the next several years raising that helpless baby, all of which requires taking minimal risks and staying with their young at all times. Oh, and also, they had to make lots of babies, not just one. That’s where men came in. Men had to do everything that wasn’t … all of that. Men had to hunt, build, fight, and govern.
No person would ever grow up if it weren’t for their mother birthing them and watching over them obsessively. At the same time, if it weren’t for men, the elements would kill us no matter how loving mommy was, or animals, or other humans, or starvation. Never, in all of human existence, have men and women been the same, and never have men and women been able to survive without the other. This is where the genius of marriage comes in. Marriage is an institution that demands men and women make their differences work in harmony, to raise children, and to keep society prosperous.
Let me lay out how different men and women are…
Recently, I told my best friend something tremendous, and he immediately replied with, and I quote, “Don’t be an idiot.” And I couldn’t help but notice he’d never say that to a woman, because women can’t handle being talked to like that. That’s why we, as in most men, never do it. If my best friend said those exact words to his wife, she’d feel insulted, and possibly even attacked. Because women are fragile. Women have similar ways of thinking to that of children. Why? Because to care for a helpless infant, you have to think a lot like them. This is why women are so fragile. But since I’m male, my best friend had no problem telling me, “Don’t be an idiot.” He knows I’m not going to give a damn that he used the word ‘idiot.’ He knows I’m going to wonder, “Hmm, why does he think that would be a stupid thing to do?” instead of wondering, “Oh my god how can he be so mean?!”
Men are biologically built to be effective, direct, blunt, tenacious, practical, and to be problem-solvers. Ever notice that when a woman comes to her man with a problem, his response is essentially, “Okay, here’s what you gotta do…” Then, she gets offended, because that didn’t sound sensitive. What she wants is for him to just show he cares about how the problem is affecting her. But what men hear is, “There’s a problem, and it needs to get fixed right now!”
How did men and women coexist before marriage? I really don’t know because we are rarely on the same page. But marriage, if it lasts for life like it’s supposed to, gets men and women to find a way to coexist because they are in this for life. It gets men and women to see things from the other’s perspective.
Which just adds to how stupid we are today, because these days we believe that a proper marriage is when a man is completely submissive to his wife. Like a dog, always loyal, always submissive, and always knows its place as the lesser being lucky to serve such a perfect master. No, marriage is not a dog-and-owner relationship, it is …. a relationship.
And during better times, we understood that men are best out there in the world working while the wife is at home caring for the kids and making the home, you know, a home. And we screwed that up, because of course we did. Never mind that families are now broken than ever, suicide and substance abuse is higher than ever, women are more unhappy than ever, and literally everyone is stressed out and having no one to come home to who isn’t stressed out….
Marriage is about the family unit and the home. That’s why when you do it right, you have the best life you can possibly have, and society as a whole is the best it can be. Ruin that, and you ruin everything.