In this day and age where it’s popular to trash men, this is one of the things where I just don’t understand why it’s a problem.
We always hear about prominent men who cheat on their wife, but we never hear about prominent women who cheat on their husband. (This post isn’t about cheating.) But the news outlets always run segments about “Why do men cheat???” and it always annoys me. Fact is, men just want sex, and most men can’t live without it. That’s no justification at all, but it is the reason nonetheless. Now, personally, I’m one of those strange men who can easily go without sex for a long time … or am I so different at all?
I can go without for a long time … when I’m not with anybody. But when I am with someone, though, I want it all the time. And I think the reason for this makes me hardly any different from most other guys.
Men are physical creatures. Regarding sex in particular, it’s no different. Men are designed to build, to fight, and to provide. Women feel loved when they hear loving words, they feel loved when men do what they say. I could talk about this all day, but I won’t get in to the reasons for this. Point is, this is not how men express love. We are physical creatures. Our preference for showing love is through physical contact.
It is our way of saying we are here to protect you. It is our way of saying we are here when you need us. It is our way of simply saying we love you.
We are also so physical with you just to feel your presence. To soak in the moment.
It may get annoying, ladies, but really when you think about it, the more physical your man is with you, the more it means he loves you. (At least, in most relationships.) You are so often mistaken when you think all men want is sex, which may be true if you’re teenagers or in your early 20s, but the fact remains that it’s in our DNA to be physical. Don’t get me wrong, there are many guys out there who only want to sleep with you. But that’s not most men. And yes, sometimes when we are physical, we get in the mood. It is also in our DNA to want to reproduce, but that is not the only reason we want to feel your touch all the time.
Not that it’s anyone’s business, but I’ll divulge this to further emphasize my point. In one of my relationships, there were some nights in bed when I would randomly want to rub my hands all over her body, and I’d do this for at least half an hour. I’d rub her back, her neck, her arms, her legs, and even her feet. And yes, the more sexual spots as well. But it was never sexual to me. Sometimes it would put me in the mood, but I never did this from already being in the mood, I did it because I just wanted to feel her touch. Plain and simple. The first night of our relationship, I asked her if I could feel her touch, not for sexual reasons, but because I already loved her. On nights when I’d just rub my hands all over her, it usually put her to sleep, because I was basically massaging her, so I never got complaints about it. I just wanted to feel her touch, and like all males, that’s how I expressed my love for her.
Again, this doesn’t strictly apply to all men, but broadly speaking, this is how we function.
Loving your body also manifests in a different way. In that same relationship of mine (the one I just described), her fingers were slightly longer than average. I teased her about it, but that was my way – a guy’s way – of showing love for that, too. Her fingers were unique, and that just made her more special to me. I’m honestly not sure if she was self-conscious about it. If she was, she never showed it. All I know is that I loved that about her. It was a part of her body I loved, just like the rest of it.
Yes, ladies, your man likes your bikini areas. Those areas tend to be our favorite, but they’re not the only places we love. We love all of you. Your hair, your face, your neck, your chest, your hands, your back, your legs, your feet, all of it.
You’ll never understand it because your brains are different from ours, but just trust me on this. We will never understand why you put so much value in the ways you want love expressed to you, so at least understand you’ll never understand our ways, either.