I’ve encountered an Inigo Montoya problem.
Like the iconic character from The Princess Bride, I am not sure what to do next. In his case, the mission was accomplished. In my case, it was not, and technically never could have been.
If you’ve been reading my recent posts, July 2020 has been a month of monumental epiphanies, as well as a new feeling of … exhaustion, for lack of a better word … toward my approach to the world at large. Earlier this year, I had a pretty big epiphany about the origin of existence itself, and I’m surprised it didn’t also come to me in July. I will describe that epiphany in my next post.
Anyway, as I described in this post here, I’ve grown tired of the world of politics, among other things. All my life I’ve had a passion for the truth. It’s why I’m a deep thinker. (This blog’s name is no accident.) In one’s search for truth, you have to test ideas and discredit the ideas that are demonstrably false.
I did this when discussing politics, and I did this in my personal life. I wasn’t a nut about it, but in a sense it has always been my general mental framework. That hasn’t changed still, but my emotions have been detached from it. And now I have realized: Without that emotional drive, to push back against bad ideas in politics, to push back against immoral behavior I see in my personal life, I don’t have much incentive left to keep being involved.
When I said at the beginning that my ‘mission’ technically never could have been accomplished, that’s what I mean. There will always be bad ideas, there will always be immoral behavior. It’s what humans do. In a way, this outcome was inevitable. Like retiring from a job when I could have kept going, I’m just done. My voice made no difference, personally or at large. If anything, it only made things worse. People will always do what they want to do, period. To hell with it; I’m going to do what fulfills me most, rather than continuing what I feel I should do for the world.
So, now what?
I feel like an old man, even though I’m not even 30 yet. I feel like an old man who has chosen to keep to himself, and lets ‘the kids’ (meaning, the world) do what they do and just hope they don’t wreck everything. Maybe it’s wiser that way, anyway. Focusing less on the world allows someone to focus more on what’s immediately around them. I’ll still vote, I’ll still keep up to date on what’s happening in the world, but that’s it. No more commentary, no more discussing these kinds of things in my personal life.
I think I will do what I’ve always loved doing. I’ll focus more on writing fiction. I’ll focus on creating content in general, adding to my writing with videos and photography. I’ll focus on combining all of these things by trying to get my business to grow (if pandemics stop happening, among other things).
My novels Remnant and Resurrection are no longer available in the market. Any hard copies remaining will be useless collector’s items, I guess. The reason for this is because I intend to rewrite the story, to shorten its overall length, more focused on the main character, and rework the story itself to include things I always wished were in it. I will write this one chapter at a time on my Wattpad account here.
My videos on YouTube will be few and far between. My photography will focus more on editing others’ images rather than creating my own, for the time being.
Finally, of course, there is this blog. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do with this blog. I might just go on a long hiatus, now that I won’t be writing about politics or what’s wrong with the world in general. I’m surprised, truly surprised, people have still been keeping up with my content. You guys never leave comments, but my stats show you certainly read what I say, not in huge numbers, but you do nonetheless read it. I suppose I’m the same way with the content creators I keep up with across social media.
I have one more planned post, but then, don’t be toooooo sad to see no new content for a while.