Why Fathers Matter – The Science

Long post today, everybody. Long, but very important.

Dennis Prager recently released a video on the topic of why God is depicted as male in the Bible. I’m neither religious or conservative, so I clicked on it simply to see how he explained this. To my surprise, he talked more about the importance of masculinity in society and how its decline is hurting society. For the record, there are a small few number of videos by Prager I actually appreciate, like his distinction between Leftists and Liberals. But this most recent video got me thinking about the science behind why male role models, namely fathers, are so important. I’ve talked in length about ‘what,’ but not so much directly explaining ‘why.’

I’ll leave research at the end of this article.

It all comes down to biology, obviously. (Well, not so obvious these days, because denying science is what’s popular now.) Men are built a certain way, women are built a certain way. These days, people want to think women can perform all tasks traditionally left to men, like physical protection, combat, construction, engineering, etc., but this is simply not true.

Pay attention to the way nature built us as humans. Women are built to be mothers, men are built to do everything else. This is why a woman’s greatest strength is in her social skills. Women are better built for emotional connection. They’re made to spend their time having babies, the same way men are built to spread their seed. For most of human history, going back tens of thousands of years, we were all in constant survival mode. Women needed to keep popping out babies (each of which took 10 months to grow in the womb, leaving the mother vulnerable and fragile), and men needed to do everything else, like hunting, protecting the tribe, building tools, building shelters, etc. It’s why men have greater pain tolerance, greater muscle mass, greater stamina, greater physical strength, greater overall size, and yes, even greater intelligence. It’s all about survival, or at least it was for 99% of our species’ existence.

We are still built the same way our ancestors were. We’re the same animals, just with slightly, slightly more technology than before. You can’t fight biology. And I’m going to prove it.

Since the rise of feminism in the 1960s, women have become increasingly depressed. Their happiness has declined. Yes, declined. It has declined every single decade since, like clockwork. It turns out that telling women to take charge, and work that career in place of focusing more on children, and sleep with whoever the hell they want, and that they can do everything a man can…. wasn’t such a good idea. For men, a midlife crisis is wanting to go out and do crazy things, but for a woman, a midlife crisis is realizing she wanted to be a mother all along, and now she’s barely fertile, and has only a fraction of the energy she’d need to raise kids, and she’ll be old by the time her kids grew anyway. That midlife crisis can also equally be having had kids but refusing to stay with their father and trying to tackle the challenge all on their own, because you-go-girl or something. Yeah, turns out that’s all stupid.

A woman’s strength is not in herself, it’s in her family. The family she produced with her own womb, and remaining with the man who provided the seed to do so. Men are more capable in nearly everything, but their strength is also in their family. It’s a waste for all their strength, all their stamina, all their skills, all their motivation, all their drive, all their ability to protect… to only be used on himself.

Seriously, marriage was the most ingenious idea humans ever came up with. Divorce, however, was one of the stupidest. Dissolving a marriage is the stupidest way to solve the problems within it. If divorce weren’t permitted by society, most marriages would be fixed, not crumble, because walking away from commitment does not make someone better at it.

But I’m not here to talk about marriage, or more accurately, the stability of family. I’m talking about the current epidemic of lack of family stability. Women, you can’t do this on your own, and children especially don’t want you to. Stop destroying your families. Society, stopping letting them.

Women, you are not built for the job of a father and a mother. You are not built to be a boss or a commander. Now, granted, some women are very much built that way, but it’s rare. Everybody is different. But as a whole, women, you need to stop rolling the dice on this subject. If you are absolutely sure you want to be an architect, an Army General, or a CEO, then more power to you. I’d strongly, strongly recommend you make damn sure it’s what you want most, though. Don’t pursue those dreams just because everybody around you said you have to be masculine. That’s all feminism is now. It’s just women telling other women to be like men (and telling men to be whimpering lap dogs). When you believe and give in to that bullshit, it drains you of happiness, because you are trying to do something you were not built to do, to that extent anyway. There’s a good reason women generally prefer to be nurses, or stay-at-home mothers, above being shipbuilders or military commanders. Think about it.

Men and women are different. Period. That’s just a fact. Stop trying to fight it and let it be. Now that that fact has been established-to-death, I’ll proceed on to the most important aspect of this subject. Society isn’t having a problem because women aren’t happy anymore (though that doesn’t help), it’s fathers being absent. It’s fathers being absent because women have convinced themselves fathers aren’t necessary.

“Knowing that kids feel loved by their father is a better predictor of young adults’ sense of well-being, of happiness, of life satisfaction than knowing about the extent to which they feel loved by their mothers.”

– Ronald Rohner, director for the Center of the Study of Interpersonal Acceptance and Rejection at the University of Connecticut.

Generally speaking, every kid expects Mom to love them. They know they have Mom’s love no matter what they do. Dad’s love usually doesn’t have to be earned, but his affection and especially his respect usually need to be earned. The feeling of validation from the father is more valuable because there is an immensely-larger feeling of having earned it. Challenge is what makes people grow, not endless doting.

This is why people who grow up with only their mother’s love are weaker emotionally than people who grow up with also their father’s love. Mother’s love is the baseline amount we need to survive, while a father’s love is what we need to thrive. Surviving versus living to the fullest. Every deeply broken person I’ve ever met still has (or had) their mother during their childhood; so, clearly mothers aren’t sufficient on their own.

Men are also more motivated to learn skills, more mentally and physically suited to learn those skills, more likely to explore the unknown, and are far more capable of controlling their fear (and every other emotion). Boys and girls know these things without being told, and this adds to why approval from their father is more important. Kids understand that Dad is more likely to understand practical things, to take them places they’ve never been, and to give them the skills (and resources) to achieve their personal dreams.

Fathers are also far more capable of helping their children grow, mentally. Expanding their wisdom, their knowledge, their skills, their talents… This fact is not a one-way street, by the way. This is symbiotic, between kids and their fathers. It is the act of raising kids that gives fathers more power to do this in the first place. This is why I’m not sure which bond is stronger – the bond between mothers and their kids, or fathers and their kids? I’m not sure because with mothers, it’s chemical and unconditional. With fathers, they (in a sense) grow with their kids and everything is earned, including the bond itself, which outright prevents kids from taking their fathers for granted.

Fathers emulate strength. They are sources of strength. Society these days is trying (desperately) to make women the strong ones, but it just keeps falling flat. Nothing will change the fact that women prefer to be caretakers as jobs and hobbies, nor will anything change the fact that men have greater control over their emotions, nor will anything change the fact that women have to call on men to move desks and couches. Again, and for the last time, you can’t change biology or human nature. It is fathers who are sources of strength. Fathers being a source of strength extends to anything he does or teaches. If he teaches self-control, then children grow up associating self-control with strength. If he teaches his children not to steal, not to harm, not to be rude, and not to give up, then children associate those things with strength as well.

Whereas growing up without a father makes children (both boys and girls) grow up defining strength in their own way: aggression, greed, never admitting wrongs, giving in to temptations, incessant lying, etc. This is why fatherless children are 20x more likely to end up in jail. More than half of female prison inmates grew up without their fathers…, which just makes me think the other portion must have some garbage fathers who didn’t protect, teach, or show devotion like they should have. You just never see people with great fathers, who were present during upbringing, turn out to be directionless, unhinged, or destructive as adults. Life is hard, and you need strength of every kind to get through it. Boys and girls need to get their strength from someone, as well as the proper teaching from that person to know how to use that strength.

Males carry the worse of instinctive tendencies. Males, particularly as teens, are more aggressive, impulsive, and short-sighted. This fact alone makes several things too obvious to ignore. Males already make up most of the prison population wherever you go; imagine how much worse that will be as fathers become increasingly absent. Feminism can’t turn all men, or even most men, into pathetic lap dogs, like they want. The more fathers are absent in society, the more natural male tendencies will be unhinged. Boys and girls go to Mom for love and support; they go to Dad for learning and wisdom and strength. Girls and boys without proper learning, wisdom, or strength is dangerous for everyone.

Fact is, kids just don’t take their mothers as seriously as their fathers. A mother can try to discipline, establish boundaries, and lay down the law as much as she wants, but at the end of the day, she has limits; limits that fathers don’t have. All kids understand this naturally, without being told. It’s obvious. Besides, kids don’t want that from their mothers anyway! Women shouldn’t want to enforcers; it’s not in their nature. Maybe with minor things around the house, but nothing larger in scope. I mean, on top of all the duties a mother has naturally and preferably, these days they want to add masculine obligations to it? Why? Being a mother is a beautiful thing. Why try to be the father as well?

Last thing I’ll touch on (even though I could talk about this all day) is girls and future partners. Fathers need to be around to show girls the kind of man they need to look for. Not once, literally not once, have I ever seen a girl who had an absent or defective father end up choosing great men to have relationships with. Not to mention, if their father was absent (by her mother’s choice or his own), how can she even know how to make a relationship last even if she picks a great guy? It’s just layers upon layers of ignorance girls have to get through, completely on their own, even though it’s not their fault for being ignorant. And I’m sorry, but regardless if the man chooses to abandon his child, or if the mother used our biased laws to kick him out of her life, regardless, it’s always the mother’s fault. Think about it.

Men are built to spread their seed. Some people phrase it as “fucking anything that moves.” Like I said earlier, men had to be that way for most of our species’ existence. But women are naturally more selective with their sexual partners, as they should be. This is an admirable trait of women, and feminists shouldn’t try to squander it all for the sake of ’empowerment.’ There is nothing empowering about fucking as many guys as you can. For the most part, women, you get to choose who you make babies with. You choose whether or not to make babies with a guy who doesn’t want to stick around, OR a guy you don’t even want to stick around. Either way, it’s on you. Whether your child has a father around during their upbringing is on you. Pick a man who wants to stay! And even more important, pick a man who wants to stay and whom you want to stay. If he wants to stay, don’t shove him out of the picture for the sake of being a greedy bitch, or just because the relationship got a little bit tough and you don’t know how to work on things. If you find a man who is loyal to you AND genuinely desires to be a parent with you, then don’t make the idiotic, destructive mistake of kicking him out of the picture. You will never make a choice more stupid.

Girls need fathers, in addition the numerous reasons I’ve already listed, to know firsthand that there are decent men out there. Decent men who will be forever loyal and infinitely loving. They need to see what that looks like. They need to be around it for damn near every day of their childhood. They need to be raised by such a man.

 

RESEARCH:

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