The more you think about it, the more it annoys you…
For the record…
Really, I don’t care about warning for spoilers. Granted, you won’t understand my gripes if you haven’t seen the movie. This movie is pure fan-service, and a $356m proclamation that certain actors’ contracts have ended. Do I feel I wasted 3 hours of my life watching it? No, but I won’t bother seeing it again.
Basically, the Avengers spend the movie going to all the other Marvel movies. Endgame practically OD’s on Member Berries just halfway through. Remember Iron Man’s dad? Remember Captain America’s love interest? Remember the first Avengers movie? Remember Thor: The Dark World?
Why didn’t Nebula warn everyone about Thanos before going to that planet? Why didn’t she return to the present after Thanos intercepted her brain signal instead of just standing there and saying, “Oh no!”? How the hell did Ant-Man and Hawkeye survive an entire building collapsing on them? How did Ant-Man survive getting directly hit by the missiles that destroyed the building?? How did Thanos hold his own against Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor (with Stormbreaker and Mjolnir) without any Infinity Stones? (In Infinity War, Thanos didn’t last even 5 seconds against Stormbreaker with literally ALL the Infinity Stones.) Where the hell was Captain Marvel the entire movie while everyone else was, you know, trying to restore half of all live in the universe? Why didn’t Captain Marvel fly the Infinity Stones away from the battle at the end, along with the time-machine van? How did [I forget who] contact Captain America from a completely different planet before all the portals opened up? How did a simple Iron Man glove harness the Infinity Stones when Thanos’ Gauntlet required the power of an entire star to create? How did Black Widow committing suicide earn Hawkeye the Soul Stone, when the Soul Stone specifically required the seeker to SACRIFICE the one they love, not just a death by whatever means? (Seriously, Hawkeye didn’t love Black Widow most, he loved his family most. He would have had to outright sacrifice one of them, with his own hands, to earn the Soul Stone.) How the hell did Captain America stay in the past of that specific timeline when all the timelines they traveled to are specifically different timelines?
Iron Man figures out time-travel after pretty much one night of trying it out. Ant-Man only returns from the Quantum Realm because a random rat stepped on a random button, conveniently 5 years after ‘the snap,’ instead of decades, or centuries, or never. Lovely coincidence. And Thanos wasn’t the nuanced villain he was in Infinity War, he was just a bland, sadistic bad-guy in this movie.
As for Captain Marvel barely being in the movie, because obviously the writers didn’t know what to do with her… I’m glad she was barely in the movie. But, if she was going to be, then make sense of her character. Clearly she was shoehorned in by Disney execs.
And don’t even get me started on that cringe moment where all the female supers huddle together, just to give all the feminists an orgasm. Yet another one of those situations where you think, “If it was the other way around, there would be outrage, but because it’s women, it’s somehow good.” Seriously, if that moment was replaced with, Look at all the MALE characters being MEN!! Yeah, there would be a whole lot of whining from feminists. But since it was women, it deserves praise. Of course it does.
The only enjoyable parts were actually the beginning. Everyone complains that the beginning (after Thanos’ decapitation) was boring, but I actually liked it. It made these ridiculous characters seem more believable. I also appreciated Iron Man’s death. That was well-done when it could have so easily been cringey.
Otherwise, the more I think about this movie, the more stupid I realize it was. It was a jumbled mess, it contradicted itself or just plain didn’t make sense, and everyone, as usual, sure was jokey for having experienced the apocalypse.
Infinity War was better.