I was going to make a post about how the Star Wars Sequel trilogy (7-9) cannot be canon, but I also realized that the prequels can’t be canon for a number of reasons as well. So, here’s why the prequels cannot be canon. I’ll post the one about the sequels soon.
1. Leia Remembers Her Mother, and Luke Doesn’t
In Return of the Jedi, Luke asks Leia about what she remembers of her real mother. Then he says he has no memory of the woman.
Episode III showed that Luke was born first, Leia was born second. And then their mother died. The twins were in the same room at the same, and were both there when their mother died. There is NO reason Leia would remember this at all, let alone remember it when Luke doesn’t. The problem goes beyond that…
Luke was making a specific point when he asked Leia what she remembers about her mother, and that he didn’t remember her at all. It wasn’t just a casual, “Oh, my memory must be not as good as yours. That’s too bad.” No, he brought this up for a reason. Yes, they were separated at birth, but Leia obviously stayed with their mother a little while, whereas Luke was taken away immediately.
2. Obi-Wan Didn’t Know About Leia
This connects to the first point, actually. In The Empire Strikes Back, Obi-Wan says Luke is the last hope of the Jedi. Obi-Wan, who lived nearby during Luke’s entire childhood, somehow either didn’t know about Leia whatsoever or he assumed she died shortly after birth. Point is, he believed Luke was Vader’s only child. This would absolutely not be the case if he was present for Leia’s birth.
This problem could possibly be given a pass. Obi-Wan could have assumed Leia was killed when Alderaan was destroyed (he never knew Leia was even on the Death Star). That’s a fair point, but I see problems with it. As a ghost, Obi-Wan very quickly learned about Leia being alive, since she joined the main cast as Obi-Wan was dying. So therefore, Obi-Wan, as a ghost, long after Leia joined the cast, telling Yoda that Luke was their last hope was a contradiction to the prequels and the the OT. But still, it affects the prequels, which is why I’m bringing it up.
3. There is No Mention of Chewbacca’s Royal Bloodline in the Originals
Remember the completely useless scene in Episode III when there’s a battle on the Wookie planet Kashyyyk? There was Tarfull and Chewbacca, the leaders of all wookies. Was this explained in the Holiday Special? Anyway, apparently Chewie is wookie royalty, according to the prequels, and yet there is ABSOLUTE ZERO mention of this in the original trilogy. There’s no mention of where Chewie comes from at all in the original trilogy. As a child (actually, since I was a child), I just assumed Chewie hung around Han Solo because he wanted to. They were friends. If Chewie was super important to his people, he wouldn’t have done that, unless Han was equally as important, which he obviously wasn’t. I think it’s safe to say Chewie is not that important, so fuck that bit from the prequels, too.
4. Obi-Wan Doesn’t Know R2-D2
“I don’t seem to remember owning a droid.”
Yet, R2 was with Obi-Wan through almost every single scene he had in the prequels. Yeah, 19 years wouldn’t make Obi-Wan completely forget R2. I’m only in my 20s, and I remember random toys I had from 19 years ago. An old man who’s not senile would forget a close droid companion from his middle-age years.
5. The Jedi Clothing
Look at Uncle Owen in Episode IV (the first Star Wars movie). He’s wearing Jedi clothes, according to the prequels. Or, even look at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is apparently still wearing his Jedi clothes while being a hermit on Tattooine… Right.
6. Obi-Wan’s Age
Alec Guinness (who played Obi-Wan in the original trilogy) was 62 when they filmed the first movie. Ewan McGregor (who played Obi-Wan in the prequels) was only 33. How did Obi-Wan age so much between the trilogies? The gap between the trilogies is 19 years, but for Obi-Wan’s age to match in both trilogies, the gap would have to have been 29 years. Even when you don’t take the math into account, I’m seriously expected to believe Obi-Wan goes from young with fine skin, moving lightning fast in his Mustafar fight, to being an old, frail man in just 19 years?
7. Luke Says Dagobah Looks Familiar
Why would Dagobah look familiar to Luke? That is actually something I was hoping the prequels would explain when I was a kid. And that never happened, because of course it didn’t.
8. Obi-Wan Was Reckless and a Thrill-Seeker When Young
Seriously, Obi-Wan is the key to completely discrediting the prequels. Thank you, Obi-Wan, you’re our greatest hope.
In The Empire Strikes Back, Ghost-Obi-Wan reminds Yoda that he was reckless and a thrill-seeker. There is absolutely no sign of this in the prequels.
Obi-Wan was shown in the prequels to always be patient and wise. Hell, even his master Qui-Gon told Obi-Wan that he was a much wiser man than he was. For some stupid reason, the reckless guy was Qui-Gon.
9. No Coruscant in the Originals
Coruscant is a planet that is one giant city. Not only that, it’s the capital of the entire galaxy, from politics, to the Jedi Order. Yet, there is no mention of Coruscant in the original trilogy at all. I’m not saying that Coruscant shouldn’t have existed in the prequels. It fits, but there should have been a damn good explanation given as to why Coruscant wasn’t important to anyone in the original trilogy. The prequels should have explained this.
The Clone Wars should have been such a devastating war that Coruscant was rendered desolate and uninhabitable. That should have been the reason.
10. Yoda Could Not Have Been Powerful Enough to Fight Dooku or Sidious
The prequels want me to believe that Yoda dies at the age of 900 from old age, yet at the age of 881, he’s able to hold his own against Darth Sidious? Or at the age of 878 he can keep up with Dooku? Riiiiiight.
11. Padme Dying from a Broken Heart is Too Stupid in Too Many Ways
She became a mother. Having kids wasn’t a good enough reason to stay alive? What a bitch.
Not to mention, Padme stuck by Anakin after he slaughtered men, women and children, maniacally ranted about it, and then expressed zero remorse about it. Yet, turning to the dark side and slaughtering a few more children was unbearable and shocking to learn? THAT’S what made you become so heartbroken? Anakin never really changed. Turning to the dark side was just a formality. Padme had no reason to be this heartbroken just because Anakin is just doing what he usually does.
But seriously, losing the will to live WHILE becoming a mother is just bitchy. Not to mention stupid. I’ve been deeply heartbroken by a multitude of people I loved immensely, and it did make me want to die, but I nor anyone ever dropped dead because of it….. So stupid.
12. Darth Vader Did Not Create C-3PO
Especially for the reason of helping his mother around the house. 3PO translates languages and can barely move his arms. This was just fucking retarded.