Is This A Joke? (Avengers: Not the Endgame At All)

Are we still pretending these MCU movies are any good? Seriously? At this point, I can’t tell them apart. Some villain wants something, two or three of the heroes get together to stop him, and there are LOTS of jokes along the way. Nobody dies (or stays dead), nobody cares about whatever shenanigans happened previously, and did I mention there are lots of jokes? I don’t give a shit if the hero fighting the villain-of-the-week is a guy with a lightning hammer or a high-tech suit of armor. Why does anyone else care anymore?

Just like with the Transformers movies, as soon as the trailer to the next MCU installment drops, everybody thinks this one will be different. Then, it turns out to be no different, because it’s Disney you morons! Seriously. Disney’s prime directive is to never take risks. Which brings me to Avengers 4: Not The Endgame At All.

Do people realize that the ONLY reason this movie exists (apart from making Disney shareholders a ton of cash) is to undo what Thanos did in the last movie? Like I said, nobody ever dies, and if they do, they never stay dead. Even if you’re a die-hard fan of these stupid cash-grabs, you have no reason to care what happens next. YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT!!

“But Michael, we don’t know how everybody comes back. So there!”

I can tell you exactly how everybody comes back. Magic, you idiot!

Iron Man does some shit over here, the other heroes do some other shit over there, comedy comedy comedy, fight fight fight, everybody comes back to life, glimpse of the next movie, the end…

If you pay to see this movie, or get someone to pay for you, you have no right to complain about how stupid mankind has become, because you’re clearly part of the problem.


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