Being married really doesn’t feel any different than just being in a relationship. But like having children, I’ve always taken the subject of marriage very seriously even though it seems most people don’t anymore. The only real difference between marriage and a relationship is that the two of you have decided you want to be committed for life. Even for atheists, like us, marriage is a good symbolic ceremony (and legal status) for which to tell the world that you two want to be together until death.
In the past, calling girls I’m in a relationship with “my girlfriend” just never sat well with me. Especially after months, or in one case, years, of being together. Every single day that I wasn’t married to the person I was with, the more I doubted I even wanted to be married to them. My philosophy is: you either jump into the pool or you don’t. Why stay together for 4,7, 10 years but not get married? There just comes a point when you have to admit to yourself that you don’t really want to do this forever.
And yet, most people think going fast is a bad thing. No, it’s a bad thing for reckless people. It’s a bad thing for desperate people. Sure, it’s good advice for a lot of people, but to think it encompasses all relationships is just foolish. No two relationships are the same. Besides, as I explained in this article, using a few true stories as proof, the truth remains: When you know, you know.
With my wife, I just knew.
Since our relationship began, we have … been the best of friends, greatly enjoy each other’s company, never grow tired of each other, never get bogged down by feelings of paranoia, and all our conflicts get quickly and easily resolved. It’s a healthy relationship, and most importantly, a happy one. I can count the things I don’t like about her on one hand, but it’d need more than one piece of paper to list all the things I love about her.
And these are all things I knew when I first got to know her, especially when we first got together. So why wait to get married?
Being married… There really isn’t much to it. It’s not like once you get married you both ascend into heaven and leave the world behind. No. Being married is just putting a label on “we want to be together forever”. And honestly, if it felt any different after getting married, I’d think there’s something wrong with that. It’s like describing how you feel about your child after you name it. I mean, it was still the same child that you love before you named it… Even if my wife and I were living in a post-apocalyptic world where there weren’t any religious people around to marry us, we’d still be married at heart. Even though I take it very seriously, I’m aware that it’s still just a label. We’re both still just … us 🙂
Please subscribe to this blog for Your Daily Philosophy, or for more articles like this.